Stop Lying About “Brains Over Beauty”

Stop preaching “brains over beauty” when your social media likes tell a completely different story.

And yes, this applies to men and women. Some of you claim you value intelligence, substance, and “brain”… but somehow, you’re always liking the body posts while completely ignoring the written work showcasing the very “brain” you claim to value. Some of you are lying to yourselves. Lying to your partners. Lying to your kids. And then you get online to criticize other people for being honest about what actually gets your attention. Pa-lease ha.

And to the women who get especially bothered because it supposedly is just to attract “male attention”: don’t get too comfortable. Some of your own metrics tell the same story, sometimes with even more replays than the men. You’re replaying videos that show body, boobs, and bum while simultaneously claiming you’re above the very thing you’re clearly paying attention to. The algorithm isn’t the only thing paying attention.

Metrics don’t lie. People do.

Brains and Beauty

Now, let me be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong with finding human bodies attractive. I certainly don’t have an issue with it. Personally, I appreciate brains and beauty. I’m completely open to the fact that humans have a variety of ways and forms of expression, and I support that.

What I find fascinating is the hypocrisy. Some of the very people saying, “That’s not classy,” “Why would she wear that?” or “She doesn’t need to show her body” are also consuming, replaying, liking, and engaging with exactly that content. If you’re comfortable with someone’s body being attractive to you, that’s fine. If you’re not comfortable showing your own body, that’s also fine. But your discomfort with someone else’s choices doesn’t automatically make their choices wrong.

Let’s Talk About the Hypocrisy

Let me use myself as an example, because I see this firsthand. Some of the adults and parents complaining about image vs. substance are the very people who consistently show up and engage with posts showcasing my body, while barely engaging with the educational work I spend hours researching, writing, and creating. And listen: you don’t have to be interested in my “brain” work. That’s completely fine. You’re allowed to like what you like. But then let’s stop pretending your behavior is telling a different story. This goes well beyond me.

I also find it interesting when parents tell their kids, “Brains over beauty. You don’t have to show your body. You can showcase your talent,” while simultaneously criticizing other people’s bodies in front of their children or their partners. It sounds nice. It sounds morally superior. But it isn’t necessarily honest about reality.

Showing Your Body ≠ Lacking Substance

Of course, you do not have to show your body to succeed in life. Absolutely. But it is equally true that you can show your body and succeed. Showing your body does not automatically make someone less intelligent, less talented, less ambitious, less respectable, or less capable.

A person can be academic and sexy, creative and provocative, intelligent and confident, serious and playful. You are allowed to be a whole human being. There is no single formula for success, and there is no single definition of what a successful or respectable person should look like. Just because someone chooses differently from you doesn’t make them less intelligent, less ambitious, or less worthy of respect.

What Are You Actually Rewarding?

But let’s also be honest about what we’re actually rewarding. As a writer and artist, feel free to look at the engagement I receive on the work that takes hours of thought, writing, research, and creativity, the “brains” part of what I do. Then compare it with the engagement on visual posts, body posts, fashion posts, or completely random fun content. The difference can be very revealing.

And if you’re someone who constantly says that people should be valued for their substance rather than their appearance, perhaps ask yourself a very simple question: What are you choosing to consume? What are you replaying? What are you liking? What are you commenting on? What are you rewarding? Are you actually engaging with the “brains” you claim to value so highly? Or are you enjoying the beauty while telling everyone else that beauty shouldn’t matter?

Because those are two very different things.

One Does Not Cancel Out the Other

And just because you personally prefer “brains over beauty” doesn’t mean you need to pretend beauty has no influence on you, especially when your own behavior, likes, replays, and engagement are telling on you. You can appreciate brains, beauty, or both. That isn’t the issue. The issue is publicly shaming people for showing something you privately enjoy consuming.

You don’t have to stop looking. You don’t have to change what you’re attracted to. Just stop pretending you’re morally superior for choosing “brains” when your own behavior clearly tells you that you enjoy the beauty too.

There is room for intelligence, creativity, ambition, sexuality, confidence, art, bodies, fashion, education, and self-expression. One does not cancel out the other. So if you truly believe in “brains over beauty,” wonderful. Go engage with the brains. Read the work. Listen to the ideas. Support the creativity. Reward the substance.

But don’t shame someone else for being comfortable with their body simply because you’re not. Brains and beauty were never enemies. Maybe the real problem is that some people just don’t want to admit they appreciate both.

Photo Credit: Pexel - Ron Lach